this song is driving me crazy

Hey guys, this letter was inspired by a question I got from one of y'all.

You reminded me of a gap many learners have about how your brain actually learns language… This is my short 'n sweet take using a weird example. We'll get into the technical stuff later if you're interested.

Read through to the end—got a surprise you don't wanna miss ;)

It's 2 AM. You're lying in bed, trying to sleep, and suddenly:

"GODDAMMIT."

Why is this song in my head? I don't even like this song. I didn't sit down and memorize Rick Astley lyrics. I didn't choose to think about this.

So why won't it leave?

Here's the thing: your subconscious mind is always working.

Always. You can't turn it off. Even right now, it's processing everything. The sound of the fan in your room, the pattern of spaces between each line on your screen, the context that I’m literally in your head (jk). It doesn't ask permission. It doesn't wait for you to "activate" it.

The Rickroll?

Your subconscious was recording it the entire time it played in the background at that party. While you were talking to friends, laughing at memes, grabbing another drink, your brain was filing away every note, every lyric, every rhythm.

But here's the key:

At some point, even briefly, you actually paid attention to it.

Maybe you sang along for five seconds. Maybe you laughed when someone referenced the meme. Maybe you just thought, "Oh, this song again."

That moment of conscious attention? That was you giving your subconscious a marker. You were basically telling your brain: "This might be important. Tag this."

And your subconscious said, "Say less," and went to work.

It cross-referenced the melody with your emotions (you were having fun). It noted the frequency (heard it 15 times that night). It connected the pattern to social context (everyone else recognized it too).

Now, days later, it's still processing. Testing neural connection points. Integrating the pattern. Playing it on repeat in your mental background.

You want it gone. But your subconscious doesn't take orders from your conscious mind. It works on its own schedule.

Okay, so what does this have to do with learning Korean (or Japanese, or Spanish)?

Everything.

When you watch a drama for 2 hours, your subconscious is recording everything. Every phrase. Every intonation. Every grammatical pattern. Every emotional context.

But if you never give it those attention markers—those moments where you actually engage, try to understand, care about what's being said—your subconscious doesn't know what to prioritize.

It's processing the language the same way it processes background noise at a coffee shop. Sure, it's there. But it's not tagged as important.

The magic happens when you combine:

• Passive exposure (your subconscious collecting raw data)

• Active attention (you marking what matters)

You don't need a pen and paper.

You don't need to study grammar tables for hours.

Active attention just means: genuinely trying to understand, caring about the story, engaging with what you're hearing.

That signals your subconscious to treat the language like that catchy song, as a pattern worth integrating, testing, and replaying in the background until it becomes automatic.

One day, you're in a conversation, and the perfect phrase just… falls out of your mouth. You didn't consciously memorize it. It just emerged—exactly like Rick rolled into your head at 2 AM with no invite.

That's not magic. That's just your subconscious doing what it does best:

Processing patterns while you're not looking.

Trust it. Feed it. Give it markers. Let it cook.

Want the full breakdown on active vs. passive ratios, why living abroad doesn't guarantee fluency, and how to actually train your subconscious? I'm just preheating the oven for that deep dive coming soon. Stay tuned.

– Ade

Thanks for reading! We finally did it—a letter-length letter (FINALLYY). Been playing around with some new styles to keep things fresh. Planning to deliver more of these plus about one deep dive per month moving forward.

P.S. - I got 2 big announcements:

🎥 We're recording my first YouTube video for release this week!
Subscribe here to catch it when it drops. Been over 2 years since my last upload and I'm so excited to kick off this journey. Blessed to have all your support.

🌐 Last but not least… I have a blog! adeimmersed.com (WE'RE LIVE!)
Been working on it for a couple months—this is the homebase for all the jazz we're building. You can find past letters and future community, school, and resource plans on there. I'll keep y'all posted as tools and apps drop.

As always,
Happy immersing!

And have a happy Halloween! 🎃